Drive-thru luxury.

I’ve never been much of a drive-thru kind of guy. Sure, occasionally at In-N-Out Burger I’ll hit the drive-thru line (by the way, “thru” seems to be the universal spelling for all drive-thru lines), but usually I’ll just park and go in. In my youth I probably would have said that drive-thru convenience was just another example of a lazy America, but all of that’s changed now since I have a child in the back seat. It’s almost like being able to stay in your car is this brand new luxury I’ve discovered.

The other day I was out with Madame running some errands, and she decides to fuss in the back. But by now I'm on the other side of town, I’m thirsty as hell, and I’ve forgotten a bottle of water from home (I should lay off the Fritos at lunch, but that’s besides the point). Normally I would have ducked inside the closest 7-11 and grabbed some Gatorade or something, but taking a crying baby out of the car and bringing her into a random 7-11 isn’t something I’m prepared to do. Then I realize I can roll through the drive-thru at McDonald’s and just get a drink. Eureka!

Now I’m looking for opportunities to stay in the car everywhere I go. ATM? Drive it thru. Pharmacy? Drive it thru. Post office? Stay in the car and drop it in the box. The young-me can call me lazy all he wants, but the new-me is not listening. I’m lovin’ it.

The opposite of getting your car fixed.

I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t know a lot about cars. I know when to change the oil, get the tires rotated, and fill it with gas but that’s about it. Whenever there’s a real problem with the car, I usually feel awkward about bringing it in to the service guys because I always feel like I should know more about the car than I do, just because I’m a guy. Lots of times I’ll have my wife bring the car in, as the service guys are usually much nicer to her (and she has no such hang-up). These past few days I’ve started to get the feeling that the opposite is happening in my new dad-life. The other day I’m at Babies R Us, wheeling the baby around looking for a few things, and while shopping I had no less than 3 store clerks ask if they could help me. And even yesterday at Costco, I had another customer offer to help me put my items on the conveyor belt because it looked like I had “my hands full.”

Now I’m sure lots of other dads might be offended, because we are just as able to deal with our children alone as any mom would be, and this is true. But maybe this is a perk that I didn’t count on. I may be way more capable of taking care of my kid than you assume I am, but if you’re going to help me find the hooded bath towels quicker, then thank you very much.